Transformers Go Orienteering!
by His Little LabRat
Summary: Well, there is NO WAY to properly explain this. It's all so humorous, adventurous, and whatever else I can't think of right now. Maybe you'll just have to read it! Basically, it's a BIG Transformers camping road trip thing. Along with some Orienteering.
1. ROADTRIP!

Transformers go where…?

Chapter 1

ROADTRIP!

Hey! I thought of this while I, myself and friends, were actually out camping! We all thought of this, courtesy of Jazz281321, for Transformers Go Orienteering, while Jazzy and I high-fived shouting: "Sam and Jazz conquer all!" and thus proving our point. It's going to be long and great!!! Enjoy, all my little Transformer fellows!

"Sam!" shouted a voice and Sam's head bobbed up from the table he had his head rested upon.

"Mm?" Sam groaned.

"Come on, sleepy head! We're leaving!" Said the voice as its shadow loomed over him. The voice was light and reminded him of Bumblebee.

"Bumblebee, that you?" Sam groaned, rubbing his eyes. An image of a human came into view though. The human had light blonde-yellow hair, with black tips. He had a black, white and yellow visor, and a black and yellow vest with black shorts. He had a kind smile that made Sam smile ever so slightly, with light golden eyes.

"Of course it's me!" The human shouted. "The one and only Bumblebee, at your service, Sam!" Bumblebee smiled.

"What are we doing exactly?" Sam pondered, but nothing came to mind.

"We're about to leave to go camping, remember, Sammy?" Bee smiled and laughed. "Come on, sleepy Sam, we need to get ready! We're going to leave soon! Wake up!" Bee put his soft, human hands to Sam's shoulders and shook him hard.

"I'm up, I'm up!" Sam shouted. "Better?" Bee nodded and smiled, prancing off shouting something Sam couldn't make out.

Sam rubbed his eyes again, and brought his hands through his hair. He groaned as another shadow stepped into the room. _Another human? _Sam thought. _Couldn't be… could it?_ Sam strained his eyes. The human had blue hair, with black sunglasses. He had a blue vest with red flames and blue cargo shorts.

"Prime?" Sam whispered to himself.

"The one and only," the human responded, smiling lightly.

"You're all so… human?" Sam said questionably.

"Of course, we just got ourselves human forms." Prime said.

"Like actual humans?" Sam said, standing up.

"Just like you," Prime answered his hands in his vest pockets. Prime lifted his sunglasses to reveal turquoise eyes.

"Awesome," was all Sam could think of to say. Prime nodded and walked out of the room. Sam stretched, and yet another human walked in.

"Hey, Bee told me you were sleepy," said the human. This human had a silver and blue hoodie, with gray-blue cargo shorts. He had on a visor like Bee's, but it shone silver with black and blue. "You look fine." He had a more adult voice, but still young.

"Hey, Jazz." Sam said after recognizing him. "How's it going?" he asked, to help keep him awake.

"Not bad, not bad." He said, nodding. He laughed and Bee stumbled in, almost running into the door.

"I'm okay!" Bee shouted, laughing and blushing lightly.

Jazz and Sam both laughed, smiling at Bee.

"So what's up?" Bee asked. "You ready to go?" He looked from Jazz to Sam. Jazz nodded, but Sam shook his head.

"I've been re-introduced to everyone," Sam said. "So, no, I haven't packed yet."

"Oh, what a shame." Bee said, frowning and Jazz nodded slightly. Sam shrugged.

Sam's phone buzzed in his pocket, making him jump. "Oh crap!" He shouted, pulling out his phone. His phone read 'Mikaela.' He flipped his phone open, and asked hello.

"Hey Sam! It's Mikaela," she said. Sam nodded, knowing. "What are you doing?" she asked.

"Going camping with everyone," Sam said, nodding to himself. "Why?"

"Oh! Can I come, Sam?" she asks. Sam looks over to Bee and Jazz, and they're motioning a 'NOOOOOOO!' with their heads and hands, and Jazz holds up a finger, and glides it across his neck, signing 'death!' "No, we don't want you." Sam says, and closes his phone. Mikaela, left confused, asks her phone: 'Sam…?' She sighs and hangs up.

Jazz and Bee laugh hard, and gave Sam each a high five. Bee was still laughing slightly. Sam and Jazz laughed along too. Soon, it would be time to go.


	2. Hit The Road, Bucko!

Transformers Go Where…?

Chapter 2

Hit the Road, Bucko!

"Come on, come on!" Bee shouted at his luggage, a big, thick, yellow with black stripes bag, that wouldn't go through the door. Sam laughed hard, along with Jazz. Prime snickered, trying to suppress his laughter. "It's not funny!" Bee shouted. "It isn't my fault either!" he added.

Sam scooted up, and gave the bag a booted, kicking it out the door. "I think it is your fault, Bee," Sam said. "You packed too much!" Bee staggered with his bag, steaming.

"Did not!" Bee shouted back. Sam and Jazz laughed at Bee.

"Alright… if we're going on a road trip, who's going as the car?" Jazz asked. "I nominate not me!"

All the Autobots look to Sam.

"Don't look at me, bozos!" Sam shouted, arms flailing in front of him.

They turn to Bee.

"You must be confused!" Bee shouts, exaggerating the _u_ too much.

They turn to Optimus Prime.

"You've got to be joking," Prime said. "Which one of you idiots would drive a Semi for a road trip?" He added, and everyone turned to each other confused on why they nominated him in the first place. So, with that, they turn to Ratchet, who just entered the room with Ironhide.

Ratchet was wearing a red sleeved black shirt and long, blue baggy jeans with a white studded belt. He had glasses that stuck to the tip of his nose. Ironhide, on the other hand, was wearing all black. He wore a black t-shirt with black chained pants with white etchings on them. He had a deep navy blue visor with black etchings. He had deep blue-black sunglasses that reflected the sun.

"Okay, if I'm the car, who's going to pay for all the gas I eat?" Ratchet asked, almost growling. The Autobots looked at each other, knowing automatically they were broke, and turned to Ratchet and shrugged. They turned their heads to Ironhide.

"Fine," Hide groaned, sighing. "But who's driving? We need to look like normal human beings, remember?" The Autobots looked at Sam.

"No!" Sam shouted. Sam turned his head to Ratchet, and the Autobots followed suit.

"I am NOT touching whatever his steering wheel is supposed to be!" Ratchet growled. Sam and Bee looked at each other, not caring really. Bee felt like he would blush, and Sam didn't seem to mind at all. Hide growled at Ratchet, frowning.

In the end, Ratchet ended up driving.


	3. Are We There Yet?

Transformers Go Where…?

Chapter 3

Are We There Yet?

After setting off – not even that -, it started to happen. Let's make it simple:

"ARE WE THERE YET?!" Bee squealed, stressing the _e_ in 'yet'.

"No, Bee!" Prime shouted, his turquoise eyes gleaming as he looked in the rear-view mirror. "We haven't even left yet, not even started the car!"

"Oh." Simple and sweet, Bee. Simple and sweet. He sat quietly afterward.

The door popped open swiftly, and Sam stepped in.

"Hey, hey there, Sam! Easy." Hide said through the radio, mumbling something no one could make out.

"Eh…" Sam said, shrugging. He looked over to Bee. "I got myself an iPod!" he added, and Bee smiled.

"Lemme' see!" he shouted, hands out to grab the iPod from Sam.

Sam laughed and gave a headphone to Bee, who put it in his ear. Bee bounced in his seat eagerly. Sam clicked on the iPod, and went to 'Click Click Boom' by Saliva.

Bee smiled and turned to Sam, his hands on Sam shoulders, shaking him gently with a bright smile still on his face.

"It's my song, Sammy!" he shouted, shaking him more.

"I know, I know, Bee." Sam said dizzily.

"Sorry, Sam-Sam…" Bee said, bowing his head, his voice light.

Sam ruffled his shaggy hair, and smiled.

"S'okay, Bee." Sam said, and Bee's face lighted up, and hugged Sam. Sam smiled, and Bee sat back in his place in the middle.

"And we're off," Hide said through the radio.

The Topkick roared into life, and Ratchet jumped back in the driver's seat.

"Next time tell me when you're going to do that, Ironhide!" Ratchet snarled, obviously in a grumpy mood for having to drive or something. A secret passed between Sam and Bee that they thought Ratchet might be a girl with a bad day. They left it at that, laughing, heavily sarcastic. Joking would do them no harm… they hoped.

"Oh! Bee," Sam said, reaching into his cargo-pants pocket, and pulled out a CD album. "I got you a CD." He flashed it to Bee, who took hold of it, studying the cover. Bee's face lit up and took out the CD, handing it forward to Prime.

"Oppy, can you play my CD? Please?" Bee said, giving the puppy dog eyes to Prime.

"Sure," he said, unsure.

Bee waved at the radio. "Sayonara, Ironhide!" he laughed.

"Optimus-" he said, before the music took over.

_I'm Mr. Fix it!_

_It feels good,_

_Fixing' all the girls in the neighborhood!_

_I'm Mr. Fix It!_

_It feels good,_

_Fixing all the girls in the-_

The music shut off.

"THAT'S MY SONG, THANK YOU!" Ratchet shouted, gritting his teeth. "It's my song, and we're not playing it!"

Bee sobbed unhappily. Bee looked over to Jazz.

"Jazzy, please do something…" Bee said sadly, and took the headphones out of Jazz's ears.

There was a silence for a few seconds.

"MUSIC WITHDRAWL!" Jazz shouted, and his head drooped onto the window of the Topkick, his hand that had once supported his head twitching.

"I think you killed him, Bee…" Sam whispered, looking over Bee to Jazz, frowning grimly.

"I think so too…" Bee added. Bee reached over and poked Jazz in the stomach, and Jazz's head rolled over to put Bee in his view.

"Why must you…" Jazz said slowly, grimly. "Torture me so…?" Jazz added, rolling his head back to the window. Spooked, Bee slowly put the iPod that Sam got Jazz back on Jazz's lap, but Jazz didn't seem to take notice. Slowly, Bee puts his legs up and curled into a ball, leaning against Sam. Bee mumbled continuously: 'I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry' over and over again to himself for Jazz, and Sam ruffled his hair, rubbing his head.

Bee looked up at him, then back down and curled up against Sam, slowly falling asleep.

Prime looked back from the window over his shoulder to see Jazz listening to his iPod again, and Bee asleep on Sam. He looked over to Ratchet and smiled grimly, and Ratchet continued to 'drive.'

"Are we there yet?" Prime said, snickering, to get on Ratchet's nerves. Prime smiled, showing his teething, deviously. Ratchet looked at him, grinding his teeth.

"Why you little…" Ratchet said. He didn't even try to finish his sentence, knowing Prime could do whatever he wanted without ever getting in trouble.

_Ah, friends…_ Sam thought, laughing to himself, ruffling Bee's hair and he turned to look out the window.


	4. Pitstop!

Transformers Go Where…?

Chapter 4

PITSTOP?!

"I…" Bee said, twitching. "Gotta go."

"Where else do you have to be, Bee?" Prime asked, confused.

"No where, I just gotta go!" Bee squealed and screeched, twitching uneasily.

"Go where, Bee?" Ironhide asked.

"NO WHERE!" Bee shouted. "I JUST GOT TO A PITSTOP!" Bee added.

"I ain't stopping in no ditch!" Ironhide shouted. "I just got cleaned, re-re!"

"No!" Bee whined. "I gotta go to a pit stop a.s.a.p.!" Bee whined and shouted, latching onto Sam, and shaking him violently. He turned to Jazz, but Jazz was still listening to music, and knew what happened last time and scooted closer to Sam. Jazz looked over at Bee, smiled warmly, and then turned back to the window to watch the mountain landscape as it passed by. Bee whined again. "If you don't pull over to a pit stop I'll go in this car, Ironhide!" he shouted, screaming his head off.

"What's a pit stop, Optimus? I don't understand all this human slang." Ironhide said through the radio. Ratchet slapped his forehead with his hand, and Prime laughed.

"Idiot!" Prime laughed and explained 'pit stop.'

"Oh, dear Primus…" Ironhide said, swerving out of control and hitting the guardrail. "Get out Bee, just go! Don't lubricate on Sam either!" he shouted, and with Sam's window rolled down, Bee unbuckled and leapt out the window yelling 'Gotta go!'

Sam, scared and confused on what was going on, looking out after Bee, and turned into see Jazz. Sam blushed, saying 'Oh.'

After a little bit, Bee walked up to the window. Sam looked out the window, to see what happened.

"Bee, cover yourself!" Sam yelled, putting his hand over his eyes.

Bee followed suit and put his hands over his eyes.

"Like this?" Bee asked cheekily.

Prime rolled down the window, and looked out to Bee. Bee forgot to 'buckle up.'

"It burns!" Prime yelled, covering his face in pain and horror.

"I don't get it…" Bee said, tilting his head to the side.

Jazz, having no idea about anything at the time, looked out the window to Bee. He slapped his hand over his horror-stricken, widened eyes, yelling.

"Bee! Pull up your pants, for Primus' sake!" Jazz yelled, and Bee looked down.

"Oh! Now I get it!" Bee said, pulling up his pants. "Oopsie." Bee added cheekily.

Bee laughed, blushing, and everyone took their hands off their eyes, and sighed, thanking Primus Bee finally got it.

And that was the end of that… interesting… over view. Or… so we hoped, at least.


	5. Backseat

Transformers Go Where…?

Chapter 5

Backseat

Bee stretched, and turned around slowly without thinking. He sighed, his eyes flickering as he looked at Sam, smiling.

"Don't do it Bee!" Ironhide shouted through the radio.

Bee looked over to the radio, confused. "What did I do, Ironhide?" He asked, confused still.

"Don't turn around!" Ironhide shouted again.

"Why not?" Bee said, continuing to turn around.

"Don't you dare!" Ironhide growled.

"Why?" Bee said, looking back to Ironhide.

"Jazz! Get him!" Ironhide shouted. Jazz, knowing what was back there, and clung to Bee.

"Trust me, you don't want to know! Ironhide almost killed me when I found out!" Jazz snapped.

"What is it? Can you tell me?" Bee asked, looking at Jazz with his cute, golden puppy dog eyes. Jazz withdrew, twitching, but then clung back on.

"No! I can't." Jazz said. "He'd kill me if I did…" Jazz added, whispering to Bee.

"Oh?" Bee said. "I'm sorry, Jazzy." Bee added.

"Its fine, Bee." Jazz said, smiling. "It is not your fault." He added, laughing slightly.

Sam, knowing he'd get in trouble, turned around to see what was in the back seat.

"Oh, oh Primus…" Sam said, and turned back around, his eyes wide. "Is that what Ironhide does when you tick him off?"

Jazz nodded solemnly.

"Bee, I highly suggest you do NOT turn around."

"Why? Can you tell me, Sammy?" Bee said, with his cute puppy eyes again.

"Those don't work on me, you know." Sam said, blushing lightly.

"It was worth a shot," Bee said, shrugging. "But I like you anyway." Bee added, smiling to Sam. "I'd give you a hug, but Snazzy here is still restricting me." Bee said, laughing. Sam laughed with him.

All was quiet afterward, until Jazz let go of Bee and Bee turned around.

All through the quiet mountain range, until the only ear-piercing scream could be heard. "AWESOME! PULSE RIFLES!" Bee shouted.


	6. Setting Up Camp

Transformers Go Where…?

Chapter 6

Setting Up Camp

Bee yawned as he sat up from Sam's side, stretching his arms out.

"I'm so cramped," Bee said. "How do you stand it, Sam?"

"Same way you stand whatever it is that odds me out." Sam said sleepily.

"Valid point," Bee said. He looked out the front window, and looked at Optimus. "How's it going there, Oppy?" Bee asked questionably.

"We're here." Prime said.

Bee sat up straight and looked out the window as the Topkick turned into camp.

"Yay!" Bee shouted, bouncing in his seat. He looked over to Sam and shook him. "Wake up, sleepyhead! We're here." Bee said, and looked over to Jazz. "You too, bucko! Get up!" He shook Jazz and unbuckled his seat belt.

Ratchet stopped the car (frankly, it was Ironhide driving), and rolled down the window and began talking to a man at the entrance of the camp. They talked for a bit, and the man outside the entrance waved Ratchet into camp while talking. Ratchet said thank you, and drove forward (again, with Ironhide actually driving).

Sam sat up, yawned and sighed, stretched out and looked out the window. "Awesome," Sam said. "We're here."

Jazz sat up, his black hair shining a light black-grey. "Can't we just sleep while you set up?" Jazz asked; his headphones still in his ears as he laid back down in the seat.

"No, no, no, silly!" Bee squeals cheekily, standing up even while the Topkick was in motion. "We have to set up camp!" He squealed, smiling and bouncing as Sam forced him to sit back down.

Ratchet sighed. "Ugh… I'm sorry, pants…" Ratchet muttered, wiping his hands on his pants, twitching with disgust. He sighed again, and opened the door after unbuckling, and hopped out.

"Alright, now get out!" Ironhide roared through the speakers. Jazz sat up straight after he spoke and unbuckled in a hurry to get out, afraid of Ironhide. Sam and Bee followed suit, hurrying out quickly. Optimus unbuckled, but Ironhide caught his ear.

"Oh, no you're not." Ironhide said. "I'm not going to stay a car forever, you know!" With that, Optimus sighed, and moved over to the drivers' side, and 'drove' Ironhide out onto the empty road. Ironhide transformed back into a human, and strode back in with Optimus.

"Alright, Autobots, let's set up camp quickly." Optimus said, and sighed and began setting up the tent.

"I'm finished!" Bee squealed with joy and everyone looked over at him. He had the tent sheet wrapped around him like a blanket, and the poles put into a cone shape.

The Autobots laughed hard and Bee felt confused.

"Bee, you're supposed to set up a tent," Sam said, laughing. "Not make a dress!" He added, laughing hard still.

"Oh, well, I knew that! And," Bee said. "This was all a test. Congrats, Sammy! You passed!" Bee said cheekily, laughing and blushing and stepped out of the tent-dress thing.

Bee's face was bright red, but toned down almost instantly. Afterward, Sam helped Bee set up their tent. It began to get dark and everyone crept into their tents, Jazz and Ratchet in one, Optimus and Ironhide, and then last but not least, Bee and Sam.

Bee and Sam chatted for a bit, but then Bee fell asleep and Sam decided he should too.

Tomorrow would be their first day in camp, and they would go hiking. How boring could it be?


	7. Mosquito Repellant and Soda Cans

Transformers Go Where…?

Chapter 7

Mosquito Repellant and Soda Cans

"Stupid, stupid!" Jazz roared, chasing the bug as it flew around his head. "Sam!" He called, squashing the bug in his hands at last. "What do you call this thing?" He asked, opening his hands to Sam.

"Jazz," Sam said. "That would be a bug." Sam took the bug from Jazz's hands and the bug in the ground, "It's a mosquito," Sam said. "It's a little bug that will suck your blood and leave a little pink dot that itches." He added and Jazz nodded solemnly.

"Like this?" Bee asked, pointing to pink welt on his arm just under his vest sleeve. "The pink dot itches, Sammy!" He said, scratching it.

"Don't scratch it, Bee! It'll-" Sam began to say, and Bee removed his hand to show a gold liquid running down his arm. "Bleed," Sam finished.

"Too late, Sammy…" Bee said, frowning. Bee took his hands and put it over the bite to stop the gold fluid from leaking. "Oppy, do we have any Energon?" Bee asked, as Sam handed him a tissue to clean up the leaking Energon from his arm.

"I do believe so," Prime said, walking up to Sam and Bee. "Jazz," he said, examining the mosquito bite. "Pass me some Energon, it's by your tent." He said, motioning to Jazz's and Ratchet's tent.

"Yes, sir!" Jazz said, running over to his tent and tossing over a can of soda.

"Jazz," Prime said. "I asked for some Energon, not Sam's soda."

"I know what I gave you, Prime." Jazz replied. "I put all of the Energon in some of Sam's empty soda cans, so it looks 'normal'." Jazz added, taking the soda can from Optimus and tossing it over to Bee. "All of the Energon has the bottom colored black." Bee rolled it over and smiled deviously. He took the can in both hands and shook it wildly, pointing the can opening at Sam; and he grabbed the opener and smiled.

"Don't do it, Bee… don't do it!" Sam said continuously, and Bee smiled and nodded. "Don't do it…" Sam said again, and Bee popped open the soda can and the soda burst out over Sam in a furious rush.

Let's just say this… 'Sweet little Bumblebee!'


	8. S'mores

Transformers go where…?

Chapter 8

Part 1

S'mores

The fire was bright and warm as it filled the cold night air with its warmth. Bee shivered with joy as the fire sparked.

"Camping is so cool!" Bee squealed cheekily, stood up and circled the fire, then sat down next to Sam.

"Isn't it _lovely_, Sam?" Bee asked, nudging Sam, and leaning against him. Sam nodded and smiled and they laughed.

Sam wrapped his arm around Bee's back to his shoulder, and reached behind himself and picked up some things.

"Bee," he said. "We're not going to end up going to sleep tonight." Bee felt confused as Sam showed him three things: marshmallows, graham crackers, and best of all, chocolate.

"Let's go out and get some sticks, and I'll explain." Sam said. Sam and Bee got up and the Autobots all followed suit. Ratchet sat back down again, closer to the fire. "You all are going, too then?" Sam asked, looking around the fire at his friends. They nodded, and Sam led them out into the woods. "Let's go then!" Sam shouted, and Ratchet silently waved them off.

"I think Optimus had a few too many," Ironhide whispered to Sam, and Sam only nodded in agreement as he watched Optimus get up and dance around the fire with Bee and Jazz.

Earlier, Bee had gotten confused and tossed his graham crackers into the fire and just ate his chocolate smothered with a gooey marshmallow. When the Autobots had returned, Ratchet had waved them off again and went to sleep in the tent. Ironhide got _so_ bored, he started playing tag with Optimus, Bee and Jazz. Sam just plain sat by the fire until Optimus and Bee dragged him off to come play tag with them.

After a while, Optimus fell flat on the ground from a sugar high and Ironhide went to bed.

"What else will we do on this trip, Sammy?" Bee asked, bouncing on the log on which he sat. "It's all so fun, will it ever end?"

"I hope not," Jazz said.

"I think after this we're going to…" Sam stopped and pulled out a map with red markings all over it from his cargo pockets. "Houston?" He said, and Jazz and Bee leaned in to see the map. "Wow, Houston." Sam said and they all thought for a moment.

"Don't mess with Texas," they all said in unison, laughing.

"What will we be doing tomorrow?" Bee asked, and looked at the map, even though it didn't say anything.

"Tomorrow, we will be whitewater rafting according to Prime." Sam said.

"In two days we will be doing what Optimus calls 'orienteering'. He says it'll be fun, that it's a 'human' thing… almost like cultural stuff. Something to do with the words male and scouts, I think?" Jazz said, confused on his words.

"You mean Boy Scouts?" Sam asked, looking at Jazz oddly.

"Yeah, that's the one!" Jazz said, giving two thumbs up to Sam.

"Sounds fun," Bee remarked. "I think…"

The three laughed.

"Maybe we can ask Oppy?" Bee said.

The three looked over to Oppy and stared at him for a while.

"Nah," the three said in unison, looking at each other.


End file.
